What is Love...?

   When we are young, it feels like love every time we have a girlfriend.
Then, out of nowhere, it hits you! All people describe it differently. For me it was like an entire body high. A body rush of complete euphoria. A short, dark haired, woman walked by me and I felt an attraction I had never felt before. So much so, I bet my co-worker $20 that whoever that is, I'm going to marry her...I was 17 years old, and when I looked into her root beer brown eyes, I was lost inside them. I am still in Love with that short, dark haired woman with the root beer brown eyes to this day.

   One of my jobs included a lot of traveling. I can proudly say that not one time did cheating even enter my mind. So when I hear Cameron Diaz say marriage is dead, and the NY Times write crap like monogamy is ruining marriage in our country, I get pissed off! I take great offense to such low standards! Is this what we want our children exposed to? Obviously someone told these people that we actually give a shit what they think! I'm here to inform Hollywood, and the NYT....Shut the hell up! The only thing these people understand is money. I have stopped attending movies of the worst offenders. However, I'm just one voice..one ticket. It's going to take more than one person to get through to actors.

   Back to my point. Yes, I'm in Love with a woman who passed away in 2006. I talk to her daily. Some would say that I am crazy. Maybe I am? All I know is that she is all I see when I close my eyes. She is what I dream about every night. ( I guess I have my very own Dream Lover ). How can I move on with my life without my heart? ( That's what it feels like to me anyway. )

   Some people "grow apart". I've often wondered what that means. Love is just Love! It's not who you are,or what you are. Love comes from the heart, work comes from our head. I guess it's hard to determine which one defines us? I think when someone says they grow apart, one of them just wasn't paying attention as time moved on. Hints are dropped, but we just have our eyes 'wide shut'...

   The key is happiness. What is happiness? I think we, ourselves, chose if we are happy or not! My dad always told me that work is what you make it. I realize now that applies to life as well!!!

  Are you happy? Am I happy? Love isn't always perfect. It takes work and lots of patience. Not to mention forgiveness. There is also communication. Without these things, ( in my opinion ), all relationships are doomed. Respect for each other is a given as well.
I don't want anyone to think that my life with Erin was a smooth ride! She was my polar opposite. The one thing we did do was work through all problems. Believe me, it wasn't easy! But, what worth having isn't worth a lot of effort? I had to remind myself of that many times after, and before she got sick. I'm also sure I said some things I didn't mean. Somehow, we forgave each other... every time.

   The way I look at it, my Lover is always more important than me! Will I ever fall in Love again?I hope so! I still have a great deal of love to offer. The key is finding a woman who is looking for a simple man!
Many people called me whipped because I put my wife and family before myself. It never bothered me, I followed my heart, and my heart was her!

   At this point, I don't control what happens in any way shape or form. I can only hope and pray, and keep hoping....and praying...

For all of us.....

Until next time.